I need some sort of style of a film that has a crpytic like background theme with sadistic bizarre looking demonic creatures that crave for blood and pain for their own pleasure.
Almost like a step into hell sorta thing.
So far i only know one film like that "Silent Hill" but the whole storyline was kinda lame and it seemed to sped right through the movie so quickly.
some games I know that have the theme but aren't made into films which just suck are like "Obscure High", "The Suffering", "Eternal Darkness", 'Clock Tower" <- (sorta like the theme im looking for).
Anyhow I need to find more good films like those worth to watch.. Those type of movies give me some good inspiration towards art and stories.
Non of those sex scenes, serial killers, ghosts, zombies ect type BS they just get overly repeated in different style of stories its getting old and boring.
I wanna see something way more creative in Horror.

So lately I have been thinking about myself comparing myself to sex seeing what would suite me homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual... I likes guys personality a lot which makes me attracted to guys rarely I am attracted to girls too.
but lately in my life I just been seeing sex and more sex and drama in a relationship which makes me wonder if I would ever want that.
I am not a big fan of sex it scares me thinking about it and drama well I'm not as I dunno how to explain it but I rarely feel any emotions for others maybe I'm insensitive towards other people.
Seeing people in relationships I pretty much just hear a lot of sexual topics and drama but never love.
I am starting to think "Love" doesn't exist but only in televisions and movies as if it were just a fantasy.
I am rarely attracted to the look and appearances guy or girl and I'm rarely attracted to the personalities now because I can never find what I'm looking for.
I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before and I have never experienced sex before I don't think I ever will because I am too busy living life as a fantasy to even think about reality.. I hate reality and I fear it and want nothing to do with it, but have no choice but to try and live it somehow.
So due to my non interest in sex and gender or even relationships it seems begs the question am I just an Involuntary Celibacy?
Will I ever find what I am looking for or is it only a fantasy made up in my own mind basically looking for something that doesn't even exist.

so lately i haven't been on here much because well my dad doesn't have a computer.
However I recently got into University at TRU for work skills.
To help me with communication, socializing, find a suitable job ect.
I can get access to the internet here so i will be posting up some new art time to time since i don't have a scanner it took me awhile to find out i could take snapshots of my art with a camera and upload them onto the computer. xD
Anyhow alot happened got my hair dyed to black and blue... got my drivers L... on medication... got into university... that pretty much sums it all up haha